The Power of Allies: Who’s in Your Corner?

The power of allies . . . Who’s in your corner.

A Knock for an Ally

A couple of weeks ago, I was upstairs when I heard the doorbell ring. Moments after the ring, a profound knock echoed through the house. As I walked downstairs, I noticed a small face pressed against the glass pane of my door, peering in to see if someone was coming. From the size and stature, I quickly concluded that it was a child. 

Opening the door, I was greeted by my young neighbor Stanley. A handsome young fella, always so respectful, he said, “Mrs. Dawn, can I have some water?”

I must have had a perplexed look on my face because I was thinking to myself, “Is his mother not home?! Did she quickly run to the store and leave the boys outside to play?” Realizing my need for clarity, Stanley immediately explained, “My brother and I are outside playing, and Mama’s at home. But if we go inside to get water, Mrs. Dawn, she’s gonna make us come in for the day, and we’re not ready to go inside. We still want to play.”

His pleading eyes held a desperate plea for alliance, a silent hope that I’d understand and help him with his dilemma. Yes, he was hot and winded, and knew he needed hydration; but not to the point that he felt it constituted him cutting his playtime short. Putting my head in my hand and trying to suppress a giggle, I told Stanley, “Meet me at the garage.”

Reflecting on Trust

As I went to the kitchen to grab some paper cups, I thought to myself, “What a simple, yet profound moment of trust.”

When I opened the garage door, Stanley and his brother were already waiting, ready to receive. I gave them the cups, pointed them to the outside water cooler, and reminded them, “Don’t leave the cups outside in my yard, and make sure to throw them away when you’re done. Also, no coming back and forth playing in the water, and don’t send anyone else over here for refills. I don’t want anyone in the garage without permission.” 

Despite my reinforcing tone, Stanley’s face beamed with gratitude as he responded, “Yes, ma’am. Thank you, Mrs. Dawn!”

After Stanley and his brother ran off, I paused to reflect on the encounter. Everyone needs an ally. Incredibly enough, even at his young age, Stanley understood the importance of having someone in his corner who would step in to preserve his desire and help him avoid any setback or disruption. No, this wasn’t just about water. It was about trust, knowing someone would help him extend his joy just a bit longer that day.

What is an Ally?

Merriam-Webster describes an ally as one associated with another as a helper: a person or group that provides assistance and support in an ongoing effort, activity, or struggle. Not always the closest confidant, but an ally’s presence or support is available when needed. Stanley, in his youthful wisdom, recognized that asking for water from his mother meant the end of his playtime. Instead, he turned to me, a trusted neighbor for help in his trivial struggle. 

But an ally is more than just a helper—they are the ones we run to for both emotional and physical safety and are often protectors of our integrity. 

My Neighborhood Allies

Growing up, I too had my own neighborhood alliances: My close neighbors — Mama Taddy and Ms. Dorothy Jean… further down the street … Ms. Betty Jean and Mrs. Gillyard…and around the corner Aunt Beulah.  These women were my “go-to’s”. 

As I ventured through the neighborhood, these women were my regular stops—houses I could enter without my mom’s permission. I’d leave those houses with stories of wisdom and, on a really good day, a taste of collard greens, pound cake, or the occasional sweet potato turnovers. Yet beyond the treats and advice, they had no issue correcting me if I veered off course, whether in tone or action. Though I considered them my allies, their true alliance was with my mother. They would step in without hesitation if I misstepped. And believe me, if I did, my mother always knew before I made it home.

It’s been a while since I thought about these accounts, but Stanley’s simple request for water that day reminded me of them and the essential roles allies play in our lives. Whether it’s a neighbor, a church member, or a close friend, we all need those people who are there in our corner, or on our street, ready to step in… even if their alliance is based on mutual association and commitment to someone else (like those women’s alliance to my mother and my alliance to Tomeka (Stanley’s mom)). 

Lifelong Ally

Another of my core memories from my childhood is Ms. Linda, my mother’s best friend. Ms. Linda and her family were like an extension of our own. She was one of my mother’s closest allies, always there to talk, listen, and lighten the mood. One thing I remember most about Ms. Linda was her comical way of expressing herself. She was one of the best imitators I had ever seen in person, and she had the funniest facial expressions, which would have my mother belting into laughter as they sat together at Ms.Linda’s kitchen table. From wherever I was in the house, I would laugh to myself too (even if I wasn’t supposed to actually be listening). Whenever my mom left Ms. Linda’s house, she always seemed to be in good spirits. Isn’t that the experience we all want after connecting with a friend?

Though I didn’t exchange many words with Ms. Linda as a child, I knew she was family. She had a way of gently offering me sound advice and wisdom that I’m sure came from things my mother had shared with her. I could appreciate that her words were always soft and easy to receive – which helped because sometimes the subjects were sensitive and personal. Most of the time things that my mother and I may have found difficult to discuss, so her calling on her allies (my grandmother, aunt, and Ms. Linda) to intervene wasn’t unusual. But still now, after all these years, I know if I ever needed to talk about something significant, Ms. Linda (and my aunt) would offer me the same level of wise, mature counsel—both naturally and spiritually.

Renewed Alliance

Recently, Ms. Linda’s role as an ally surfaced again when she recommended me to speak at St. Matthew Baptist Church’s Women’s Conference in Alexandria, Louisiana. I was honored to be one of the keynote speakers under the theme “If the Shoe Fits”; taken from the scripture text of Galatians 5:16-18 which calls us to walk in the Spirit, 

16 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. 17 For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish

The message I presented was titled “Learning to Walk in Alignment After Wearing Shoes That Didn’t Fit.” It resonated deeply with the women, as I shared how we sometimes force ourselves into situations—like shoes that don’t fit—just for the sake of appearance or approval. But I also spoke about the importance of alignment in our lives, drawing a comparison to the alignment of a car.

I explained how a car runs better, lasts longer, bears weight more effectively, and handles adverse conditions when it’s regularly aligned. The manufacturers of these vehicles know that alignment is essential for peak performance. In the same way, as Christian women, we must refer back to our Creator, the ultimate Manufacturer, for regular alignment so we can live the life He’s designed for us. 

New Allies – Gaining a Mentor

I was thrilled to meet many amazing women at that conference. One of the most significant connections was one I now hold as a spiritual mentor, Dr. Vanessee Burns. Dr. Burns has quickly become a pivotal influence in my spiritual life. Dr. Burns is not only a certified Clinical Counselor but also an ordained elder with over 30 years of experience in both clinical and pastoral ministry. Her ministry has taken her across multiple states and countries, and she has worked extensively in corrections, chaplaincy, and community leadership roles. Dr. Burns has a heart for missions; traveling abroad to spread God’s love and to meet tangible needs of God’s people.

Dr. Burns’ life and work serve as a testament to what it means to walk in alignment with God’s purpose, and having her as a mentor is a blessing that continues to unfold. Ms. Linda’s intentional efforts to build connections, like this one, again remind me of the importance of having allies. These allies help us grow, hold us accountable, and walk with us as we pursue our purpose. And though I act in this role for other women, even at 50 years old, I too need women of Dr. Burns caliber, in my corner. 

The Importance of Identifying Your Allies

As women, especially Christian women, identifying our allies is essential. In a world where we sometimes feel like we have to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders, allies are those who help lighten the load. They are the ones who pray for us when we can’t find the words, who hold us accountable when we’re drifting off course, and who step in when we feel we have nowhere else to turn.

True allies not only stand by you, but they uplift you in your toughest moments. Whether we call them allies, mentors, or supporters, their importance in personal and professional growth is undeniable. As highlighted in the Forbes article, No Matter What You Call Them, Allies Are Important, having a network of people who champion your success can make all the difference in achieving your goals.

The Pillars of Strong Alliances: Accountability, Trust, Prayer, and Encouragement

It can sometimes be hard to trust people with our intimate details and our vulnerabilities; especially the older we get in life or if we’ve experienced certain traumas in childhood like abuse, abandonment, or bullying. But, as difficult as it may be, identifying allies is very important to our overall growth as individuals, and here’s why: 

1. Accountability and Truth: 

Real allies will tell you the truth, even when it’s hard. Just like the neighborhood women who wouldn’t hesitate to report back to my mother if I misbehaved, a good ally isn’t afraid to challenge you. Today, I have a few women who still offer this level of accountability. I welcome it because I know that “emotions sometimes cloud our good judgment” and our allies can be our reality check. By having allies, we know we have people in our corner to care about our growth.

2. Trust and Support in Times of Need: 

Whether it’s a shoulder to cry on or someone who’ll step in when life gets overwhelming, allies are the ones who show up when you least expect it. I must add, we must be truthful about our need if these allies are to really do their jobs. Secrecy, shame, and silence will not allow those who desire to help us to do their part effectively if we hide away or isolate. (Mel Robbin’s Podcast and Attorney Jefferson Fisher)

3. Prayer Partners: 

As Christian women, having prayer partners in our life is key. We need people who will cover us in prayer when we’re feeling spiritually weak. No matter how strong we may feel on any given day, and no matter how strong we may be in support of other people; there are moments when we have nothing left to offer to anyone, including ourselves. Having strong and committed prayer partners allows us to be human and vulnerable until our strength is restored.

4. Encouragement and Strength: 

Of the five love languages it’s said that words of affirmation is the one love language that everyone requires. Even if you respond well to the others, feeling supported and encouraged has a beneficial effect on everyone. Sometimes we don’t even realize we need encouragement until someone offers it. Allies see the potential in us, even when you can’t see it in ourselves, and give us that needed push.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV) says: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”

This passage of scripture emphasizes the importance of having people in our lives who can lift us up in times of need. It reminds us that we are stronger together and that God places people in our lives to provide help, support, and encouragement when we need it most.

Galatians 6:2 (NIV): “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

This scripture highlights the Christian duty to help others by sharing their burdens, much like how allies and friends come to our aid in times of need.

Building Your Network of Allies

Think about the people in your life who fill this role. Maybe it’s a friend, a sister, colleague, or someone in your church. Identify those who have your best interest at heart, who will tell you the truth in love, and who are ready to step in when you need them. But also, consider how you can be an ally to others. Stanley’s request wasn’t a big inconvenience to me, but it meant the world to him in that moment.

Who can you step in for today?

We were never meant to do life alone. From childhood to adulthood, the need for allies remains constant. I challenge you to reflect on your relationships—who are your allies? Who do you turn to for support, accountability, and prayer? If you feel you lack these connections, start seeking them today. Be intentional about nurturing relationships with those who will walk with you, pray for you, and hold you accountable in your spiritual and everyday life.

Remember, being a good ally is just as important as having one. We are called to carry each other’s burdens and encourage one another as we walk in faith. Seek those who help you align with God’s purpose, and in turn, be that ally for others.

And if a “Stanley” knocks on your door . . . open it. Your support and presence may be exactly what they need. The water you provide today may actually be the water for the seed of who they’ll become. Remember, allies are extensions of God’s love, reminding us that we’re never alone in this journey.

As always, I’m committed to encouraging women (just like you) to rise, connect, and grow in every area of life. Let’s keep pushing forward together, embracing our role as allies in each other’s stories.

Until next time,

Join Alliances with DND365

Thank you for taking the time to read my words and embracing my thoughts. To reflect, Stanley reminded me of how vital it is to have someone in your life who uplifts, encourages, and walks with you during moments of uncertainty. After reading this blog, I invite you to take a moment to think about your own alliances. I’d love to hear about your experiences and the people who have impacted your journey. Feel free to share a COMMENT and strengthen this community with personal testimonies. And if you’ve found this message inspiring, SUBSCRIBE for more reflections on building meaningful connections.

Lastly, SHARE this with someone who has been a strong ally in your life. Let them know just how much their presence has meant to you.

Exciting News!

Award-Winning Author and Speaker Dawn Charleston-Green is now available for school visits, book readings, and author signings. Plus, don’t miss out on her powerful New Day of G.R.A.C.E. gatherings and speaking engagements—designed to inspire and empower! Whether you’re a teacher or librarian looking to encourage young readers, a church seeking a dynamic speaker, or an organization focused on community-building and enrichment, Dawn is now booking for Fall 2024 and beyond.

If you’re interested in having Dawn Charleston-Green at your next event, visit the Dawn of a New Day 365 website for more details or contact us directly at info@dawnofanewday365.com. Let’s work together to make an impact for women, children, literacy, and faith!